colin&julia.com

Thank you for all you love and support!
We had a really great appointment today with our perinatiloigist Dr. Moodley.

I am currently in my 27week and Parker is now 2lb 3 oz and perfect!
His head is 3weeks in age older than the rest of him.
My cervix hasn’t changed and the doctor doesn’t need to see us for a month.

I am still on bed rest which has it’s ups and downs for both me and Colin but it
is a small price to pay for our healthy son.

The doctors give us a 30-40% chance of making it to 34weeks which is still 6 weeks early
and Parker will have to be in the NICU for a while and he will be preemie.  I am hoping that all the
carrot sticks and his grandma’s homemade food will make him the fattest preemie the NICU has ever seen.

Now if we have our way he will be in until the very last possible moment, whatever happens we know
we can make it.

I think that lessons in life are learned by living.  And if you pay attention to what life is trying to teach you, you will never stop growing.

So if you would like to help we are always in need of prayers, positive thoughts and laughter.

Love,
Julia, Colin and big baby Parker

I know what this sacrifice will bring.  I feel him everyday growing inside me.  It is still really hard.  The hardest part is being a burden.  Colin tells me I’m not and he does so much and for the most part keeps it together.  But still I can’t do anything and for me that is so hard i love to take care of other people and make my husband dinner.  In fact I have yet to make him dinner since we have been wed.  I feel like a terrible wife and I know when this is over it will be but a distant memory but right now it hurts, it’s scary, and nothing is predictable.  I get to leave tomorrow for my dr. appt even that is scary.

I feel totally helpless.  I can’t get anything ready for Parker, I don’t even know if he is going to be okay to get things ready for.  And everything in the house rests on Colin’s shoulders and that isn’t fair either.  I wish I had the answers I wish I could control some of this.

I think I just need to let go and resign myself to the fact that for now I can’t control anything, not even what’s for dinner.

Living in the moment and letting go are some of the hardest yet most helpful things I can do right now.

So in Jamaica as I was boarding the plane I started having contractions. It was one of the scariest moments of my life.

But I knew I had to get to the US I had to get some where that if our Parker was born he would survive. That’s all I was thinking, our baby has to survive I have to fight for him.

So we landed in Charlotte NC and I was whisked off to the labor and delivery unit where the Dr did a test to see if labor was eminent. At this point Parker is only 23w4d and he can’t survive outside of me. Luckily that test was negative. The Dr sent us on our way.  We boarded a plane the next morning and were home by monday night. Tuesday morning I was having more contractions, off the the Dr office here in Lakewood. Our normal dr said my cervix is short and soft and go home and lay down for the next 10 weeks. So I did, i was so confused and scared I thought my body is failing me and failing our son.

Colin is the most amazing husband, by Tuesday eve he had already set up a fridge upstairs and was planning on how he would set up best rest central. Well I had more contractions and I was so scared it was Tuesday and we didn’t see another Dr for a whole week. So with more contractions we headed to Fair view. Once there we were told that our 23w6d baby couldn’t survive if I delivered luckily at midnight he turned 24 weeks so I was given tubutline to stop the contractions which is like the craziest drug ever and steroids to help baby Parker’s lungs grow faster and then we stayed in the hospital for two days saw a speacialist and were sent home.

I cried so much those first few days I thought it was all my fault if I had just stopped working or not gotten so mad about pants I wouldn’t be putting us through all if this. Turns out that there isn’t a reason in the world that the Drs have figured out as to why this happens, which I am slowly accepting.

As for husbands I have the worlds best husband. He has done everything to make this time in bed bearable and even enjoyable. Bed Rest has taken over our upstairs including the balcony. He has set up the guest room as a day room, making me meals helping me shower, get dressed and holding me while I cry. the best part is when he comes home Parker goes nuts, as soon as he hears his daddy’s voice he goes crazy.

We have had other help as well that with out we would have been pushed to the max. My mother came and helped on Saturday preparing meals and preparing bed rest central. Which I don’t think Colin and I realized that frozen meals would make all the difference this week!

Some of you know we were planning a party to celebrate our marriage well its been cancelled. There was no way that we could have handled contacting all that were invited. Though as most of you who know us, know we are total control freaks and thank GOD for Melissa and Brian. These two have been the best friends we have ever had. Beautiful people. The day I found out I called Mel I couldn’t even call my mom and she rushed over here and listened to me and comforted me and then when I was so freaked out and needed to be alone she understood and quietly left me. Everyday she listens and listens and listens to me cry to me laugh and never makes me feel like I have to anything. In fact I feel guilty cause I take up so much time talking about myself. But she doesn’t complain or make me feel bad she just supports me. Well her and Brian (her amazing husband) took over and took care of notifying all the people. Which was a HUGE relief.

So now it’s Thursday, I’ve talked to some friends and family but truthfully it is really hard for me to email cause I have to lay with one pillow on my left side and type sideways, it’s taking me a couple days to even get this done. So if you don’t hear from me for a while I’m sorry I’m missing out on what’s going on in your life please email me with an update. But be sure that when this happy healthy baby joins us I will catch up with you I will listen to your stories and I will be there for you. Right now my family needs me and I have to make that my #1 job.

ps I love you all and thank you for all your friendships, love and support.
and if you have a chance send Colin a message or two he needs you all

Jamaica was spectacular! The wedding ceremony was something out of a wonderful dream. Being Married calling each other husband and wife, only those who have gotten married can understand the level it takes you to.

For me, I fall more in love with him everyday and hope that we continue to be crazier and crazier about each other. I always thought that I would forget the actual moments after they happened and they would all melt into one experience. but i didn’t and won’t i remember every word, every bead of sweat it was one of the most pure experiences i have ever had, and I shared it with the man of my dreams.

So now we are Mr. and Mrs Toke.
Wedding photos

He is my people and I am his
He speaks my language and I his
and no man will separate

.

It’s been a pretty relaxed couple of days. After posting yesterday the rest of the day consisted of alternating between the pool and the ocean. Everyone met up for dinner last night at the Palms which reminded me of something out of the Shining, but cool none the less. Oh yeah and I forgot to mention, to celebrate the 4th here on the resort, there was a small marching band that meandered around lead by a jester waving an american flag, and brought up in the rear by a guy in an easter bunny outfit. It was very surreal and fitting.

After dinner we again lounged in the pool and discoveed a crab hanging out. There are a ton of small gekos that we have dubbed the squirrels of Jamaia. Someone at the pool last night mentioned that crabs are the cockroaches of the sea.

We found yesterday that our cell phones work here and we send a few txt messages, but we are keeping them to a minimum just incase they cost an extra arm and a leg.

This morning Julia and I wandered over to the sports complex to both have hour massages which very nice.

Other than that it’s pretty laid back here. Hopefully the picts can sorta speak for themselves.

I can tell Julia is starting to get bit nervous for tomorrow, and is doing that thing she does well, making sure all the details are attended too. Myself, well if I think about it, I do start to get nervious, but over all it’s a good anxiety.

In the meantime Bob is out in the ocean doing a shallow scuba dive. Becky and Eric went on a glass bottom boat tour this morning and are out learning how to sale. Kelly and Brian are lounging pool side.

Ok, off for a nap and more ocean swimming a little later. Enjoy the newphotos to the left.

Hello all, well me have made it to Jamaica (aka the bright end of nowhere) after a long day of traveling. It,s July 4th, and for all those counting we are in the same time zone as back home, but we are an hour behind because Jamaicans don’t use Day-Light-Savings.

We got up bright and early Tuesday morning at 2am at the Dennis household in Bowling Green, and then headed out to Detroit at 3am. We got to the airport at 4am and worked our way through security pretty fast, having about 2 hours before our first leg of our trip taking us to Charlotte. Once in North Carolina we had a 2 hour layover before heading to Jamaica on a 90 minute international flight. The plane rides were pretty good, though the traveling was a bit fatiguing for all involved. Because of our limited time in the morning and running from plane to plane we all didn’t get proper amounts of food so we were all a bit cranky by the time we got to Jamaica. Once here we had to wait in long immigration lines.

We ran into the Kellys in the immigration lines which was nice because then we were all able to take the hour + bus ride to the couples resort.

The weather here is 80+ degrees and very humid. It’s very tolerable along the ocean, but once your in an enclosed space like immigration, or other tight places you really notice the heat and it becomes uncomfortable. Luckily the resort is very open and breezy making it very nice here. The pictures which you can check out to the left via the Flickr photo stream don’t do this place justice. The sky is bright blue without a cloud int he sky. The water is crisp and fresh, and again although its humid, the ocean breeze makes it all the difference.

The bus ride to the resort took abut an hour and was surprisingly depressing. It’s amazing how poverty stricken the country seems. I’m sure a lot of it has to due with how things are destroyed and rebuild along the coasts during hurricanes, but the high school and kindergarten we saw on the way in was surrounded by barbed wire seemed very sad. Almost everything along the coast in the non resort areas seems to be either half destroyed or half build. It’s hard to determine which is which as well… half destroyed or half built.

Once we entered Negril where a lot of resorts are, there was a very visible step up in the refinement of the towns structures and the way of living.

Once at the resort we all crashed in our rooms. We all managed to meet up for dinner which was sorely needed. Julia suffered the most form the long travel day and lack of nourishment. Today she, along with all of us are doing way better after a long nights sleep and a proper breakfast.

It’s odd staying in an all inclusive resort, especially when you are eating, which if you wanted too, you could do all day. It’s weird to walk away from a table at anytime, without having to pay for anything or tip. But we are making due. : )

This morning Julia and I met with the wedding coordinator and have all the plans set for Friday. We will be getting married in the garden gazebo in the mid afternoon. This relaly is the ideal place to get married… atleast in our minds eye.

Well I’m off to the room to put on my swim trunks… and then its laying in the ocean for the rest of the day and having a few beers.

Cheers and we miss you all and wish you could all be here with us!